Forbid Law

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It’s a sensitive – and sometimes awkward subject – but not talking about your last wishes can lead to conflict, as this video shows.

In a bid to highlight the importance of talking more about funerals and the choices you’d like made on your behalf, Co-op Funeralcare has shared this clip of people doing just that.

In the video, filmed in 2017, a host from Co-op Funeralcare sets the pairs a challenge, asking the all important question ‘where would you like your ashes scattered?’ to one half of the duo, and asking the other what they think their loved one will choose.

Surprising to many – including the participants themselves – most get it wrong. No more so than Aaron and Vicky whose disagreement led to some uncomfortable moments on camera.

When asked to reveal their answers, Aaron can be seen visibly cringing with a look of ‘I’ve messed up’ on his face as he reads Vicky’s card.

It turns out, Vicky punted for Hythe Marina, where the couple got engaged, while Aaron chose St Mary’s, the stadium of his beloved Southhampton FC.

“It was either football or where he proposed,” Vicky tells the host before Aaron interjects with “you thought I was romantic.”

“I thought you were romantic,” Vicky agrees, adding. “I should have known.”

While the pair laugh it off, the video is a stark reminder that we should ‘let people know before we go’.

We all like to think we would ensure our loved one’s wishes were met, but without that discussion, how can we be sure?

Julia Samuel, author of the book Grief Works, said: “As scary as it may seem to talk about death and our end of life wishes, it’s infinitely preferable to leaving our loved ones wondering if they made the right decisions.

“Discussing even little things, like what song you’d like to be played at your funeral or whether you’d want to be buried or cremated, can go a long way in preventing turmoil felt by family and friends.’’

Samantha Tyrer, Managing Director of Co-op Funeralcare, said: ‘’While 16.5 million of us still feel uncomfortable talking about death, we’re clear on what we want, and in the majority of cases, it’s no longer a traditional funeral service.

“Our funerals represent the unique life an individual has lived. More so now than ever before, we’re seeing requests for wonderfully personalised ceremonies, whether that be on the 18th hole of a golf club, or having a pet dog present on the day.

“The choices are endless and so it’s absolutely crucial that people make their wishes known to ensure they’re not missed.”